benedictedcumberbabeof221:

I’m British and I can’t even make a nice cup of tea

image

image

operameister:

thisismythanksgivingurl-gobble:

agentgreenfishy:

poselikeateam:

fuck-i-just:

Next time a blocked number calls you answer like this: “Jim’s whore house. You got the dough, we got the hoe.”

Why does this not have any notes?

lol no “Nashville sperm bank, you squeeze it we freeze it. how may I help you?”

“Henderson’s Morgue, you stab em, we slab em, this is Eight Ball speaking.”

“Texas crematorium you kill ‘em we grill ‘em how can I direct your call?”

Gotta get up early for work tomorrow….

Haven’t had to say that in awhile. So glad I got a job again

kanyewhisperer:

when you try to say ‘nah you’re good’ but say ‘nah you’re god’ by mistakeimage

rei-of-moonlight:

☽ॐ☮ Feel Well ☮ॐ☾

You heard the bird.